My brain says no but my pants say off.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
