Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
