I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
