And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
