drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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