Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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