Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
