is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She's the barista slut.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
