Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
