it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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