Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
