Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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