addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I believe in your delicious
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