we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
