It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
