I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
