now i know why i became what i already was.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
