I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
