I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
