office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sext me about skeletons
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
