Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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