can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Randomize
