we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
