Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
