I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
