i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
