You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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