party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
