This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
