I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
