rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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