is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I cannot find my penis.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize