Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize