...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
