So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
