happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
tell me about the eggs
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