I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You can't special order awesome
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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