I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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