you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
