watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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