another moral hangover. fuck.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
