yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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