Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
