the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
