Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
