Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
