i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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