I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
