Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
