dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
