Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
